ULT1MAT3 F1XEST

I lurve Natgeo channel... and im crazy about the world's toughest fixest. Ehe. Sean Riley - the host - is funny, nice and intelligent.. Wat a gud package eh... Hihi. I luv diz guy.. I used to help my dad fixing the car (not really me fixing. I was the one who helped him to hold this and that). But Im not into this kinda guy stuff til I met Sean.. Huhuhu... Berangan la plak. Bila masa la plak aku jumpa si Sean ni. I watched almost all the episode:

Nuclear Turbine (I like.. i like..Huhu)

Boeing 767

Giant Telescope

High Voltage Power Line

Thirty-eight Ton Engine

Wat i like most about WTF are the teamwork, courage and commitment. It's touchy for me to see how they support and help each other every second. And how close they are really. Big Fun Happy Family. Plus Sean.. He knows how to relieve the most intense situation. Datz y i like Sean Riley!

I cant wait for the new season this year. Sean Riley will go outta space installing new satellite to the orbit. Wat a dream come true eh. Awesome. Cant wait.. cant wait.. cant wait!

MiSSing St4R

I can't never really tell you

Why i've been missing you a lot

And i just have to take another look

Of your photo in my wallet
And there's no reason why I keep your t-shirt by my side when i sleep

Return when you really gone
It's like a missing star that's always been up in your sky

It's like the rainbow never comes after the rain

It's like the sun never rises in every of your mornings

How am i supposed to live without those things

There are all you...

Hard

Why is it so hard to let go of a bad relation...? He said everyhting will be okay.. I dont think so. Im happy.. im happy being wit him but sumthin is juz not rite. Is it me? Is it him?

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I’m not there.

I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints of snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

That smile..

I woke up this morning feeling that im out of place a bit n tried hard to remember the last moment of my dream. I stumbled across the room toward bathroom. At least the water warm enaff..
Then I sat on the bed and looked around the room.. the room was a mess..
Well, my life is a mess. Mmm.. not really a mess. I wont put it that way. A bit messy actually. I used to wish for a normal life.. craving for normal life. There were points in life when I almost give up hope then I found a picture last few years while cleaning up my room.. Sweet smile.. round dark eyes.. chubby n new grown hair on front side.. so cute n suddenly I start seeing things clear. The long journey ahead. Journey of life.
I realized that I cannot give up hope. Well.. life is a mess sumtimes n it's not a big deal. Mess is normal and life without a mess is totally not normal.. n not awesome at all. Few told me that at least i got a job.. well i wont say 'at least'. For me that is more than enaff. I pay my own bills. I laugh. I smile. I cry. I fell in love. I fell out of love. I plan for my future. I got problems.. I have life n im thankful wit all the little things I have..
So... with that sweet smile.. round dark eyes.. Im alive...

Blurry

There are points in life when u dunno wat to do.. everything's blur..

A reason, A season or A lifetime

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a God send and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an in convenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you anexperience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season . LIFE TIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to good use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a life time.

FaThEr's EyeS

It's Father's Day.. so I wanne share a story.. to all dads.. SALUTE! I love u daddy!

Bob Richards, the former pole-vault champion, shares a moving story about a skinny young boy who loved football with all his heart. Practice after practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the other boys, he got absolutely nowhere. At all the games, this hopeful athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever played. This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship.
Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior.
All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game but remained a bench-warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.
When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.
The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in a game.
It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent.
Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday."
Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play. I've just got to play today," said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted is worst player in this close playoff game.
But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in." Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star.
His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you never heard.
Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that this young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"
He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

A TeaCHer's LeSs0n

I read a story today.. n I wanne share it wit u all.

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY to all teachers out there. U'r da bestest.

N to my beloved MOM.. u'r da Greatest!!

There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.
But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.
Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.
Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Cold War

Musuk is out of town for a week. He came back from KL a week ago n now got work to do sumwhere. Hmm.. The cold war since my betdei.... merajuk2 and all sort of merajuk.. pujuk. I didnt picked up his call the day he came back from KL. Then.. he came, standing outside my house explaining this and that. Sure.. all the bad words came out from my big mouth.. I was so piss off. Few days after the cold war, I melted n forgived him. Settle! Piece of cake huh. Hate dat I luv u.. But sumthin isnt feel rite anymore.. I dunno wat izit.. I wish I were mind-reader.. Huhuhu.

HATE DAT I LOVE U

That's how much I love you

That's how much I need you

And I cant stand you

Must everything you do make me wanna smile

Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)
But you wont let me

You upset me girl

And then you kiss my lips

All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)

I can't remember what you did

But I hate it
You know exactly what to do

so that I cant stay mad at you for too long thats wrong
But I hate it

You know exactly how to touch so that I dont want to fuss and fight no more

said that I despise that i adore you
And i hate how much i love you boy (yeah...)

I cant stand how much I need you (I need you...)

and I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoa..)

but I just cant let you goand I hate that I love you so (oooh..)
And you completely know the power that you have

the only one that makes me laugh
Said its not fair how you take advantage of the fact

that I love you beyond the reason why

and it just aint right
One of these days maybe your magic wont affect me

and your kiss wont make me weak

but no one in this world knows me the way you know me

so you'll probably always have a spell on me...

My B1RtHd4Y

My birthday again.. 2008. All mess up today.. We had a fight 2 days before.. He has to go to KL on my birthday. I dowan no present. I juz want him around. Dats all. Hmmmff. Nevermind. Again.. as usual..

with a mug of coffee,

my lil black tech n cigart..

here I am in my room pondering bout life.

I should wake up smiling today. C'mon.. it's my birthday.. Who cares about all the fighting n those stupid stuff.. Problem is normal.. It can be settled later on.

Friends called to wish me epi birthday. Thanx fwens.. 40 wishes hopefully would make the magic word "HAPPY" come true. My mom n bro n sis came to wish me epi birthday. I dowan my mom to worry bout me so I smiled.. n I smiled n I smiled.. My mom bought me a birthday cake.. Thanx mom. Mom n bro n sis left early.. They must be thinking dat I have plan with Musuk. Hmmmpppff.. So.. wit dat fake smile on my goofy face and cake on my left hand.. I waved.. Bubbye mom.. bubbye sis.. bubbye bro.. Lurv u all too.. Muah muah.

As the car dissappeared.. so did my smile... I went inside my house.. light the candles and sang myself a betdei song.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

ThiNkin of U

I miss you today..
I miss you everyday..
Thank u baby for all the 'beautiful suprises'..
So I share a beautiful but touchy story from my fav collections Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Sophie's face faded into the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room was warm and quiet. Outside it was snowing lightly.
At a quarter past one the mailman turned the corner onto Allen Street. He was behind on his route, not because of the snow, but because it was Valentine's Day and there was more mail than usual. He passed Sophie's house without looking up. Twenty minutes later he climbed back into his truck and drove off.
Sophie stirred when she heard the mail truck pull away, then took off her glasses and wipe her mouth and eyes with the handkerchief she always carried in her sleeve. She pushed herself up using the arm of the chair for support, straightened slowly and smoothed the lap of her dark green housedress.
Her slippers made a soft, shuffling sound on the bare floor as she walked to the kitchen. She stopped at the sink to wah the two dishes she had left on the counter after lunch. Then she filled a plastic cup halfway with water and took her pills. It was one forty-five.
There was a rocker in the sitting room by the front window. Sophie eased herself into it. In a half-hour the children would be passing by on their way home from school. Sophie waited, rocking and watching the snow.
The boys came first, as always, runnng and calling out things Sophie could not hear. Today they were making snowball as they went, throwing them at one another. One snowball missed and smackd hard into Sophie's window. She jerked backward, and the rocker slipped off the edge of her oval rag rug.
The girl dilly-dallied after the boys, in twos and threes, cupping their mittened hands over their mouths and giggling. Sophie wonder if they were telling each other about the valentines they had received at school. One pretty girl with long brown hair stopped and pointed to her face behind the drapes, suddenly self-consious. When she looked out again, the boys and girls were gone. It was cold by the window, but she stayed there watching the snow conver the children's footprints
A florist's truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again. Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason's house next door and parked.Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.
Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months since his death.
The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason's front door. He carried a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be answering. Of course! It was Friday - Mrs. Mason quilted at the church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then started toward Sophie's house.
Sophie shoved herself out of the rocker and stood close to the drapes. The man knocked. Her hands trembled as she straightened her hair. She reached her front hall on the third knock.
"Yes?" she said, peering around a slightly opened door. "Good afternoon, ma'am," the man said loudly. "Would you take a delivery for your neighbor?"
"Yes," Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. "Where would you like me to put them?" the man asked politely as he strode in.
"In the kitchen, please. On the table." The man looked big to Sophie. She could hardly see his face between his green cap and full beard. Sophie was glad he left quickly, and she locked the door after him.
The box was as long as the kitchen table. Sophie drew near to it and bent over to read the lettering: "NATALIE'S Flowers for Every Occasion." The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always chosen yellow. "To my sunshine," he would say, presenting the extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her "You Are My Sunshine."
It's was five o'clock when Mrs. Mason knocked at Sophie's front door. Sophie was still at the kitchen table. The flower box was now open though, and she held the roses on her lap, swaying slightly and stroking the delicate yellow petals. Mrs. Mason knocked again, but Sophie did not hear her, and after several minutes the neighbour left.
Sophie rose a little while later, laying the flowers on the kitchen table. Her cheeks were flushed. She dragged a stepstool across the kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water, then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into the sitting room.
She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.
At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.
"Hello, Sophie," Mrs. Mason said. "How are you? I knocked at five and was a little worried when you didn't come. Were you napping?" She chattered as she wiped her snowy boots on the welcome mat and stepped inside. "I just hate snow, don't you? The radio says we might have six inches by midnight, but you can never trust them, you know. Do you remember last winter when they predicted four inches, and we hand twenty-one? Twenty-one! And they said we'd have a mild winter this year. Ha! I don't think it's been over zero in weeks. Do you know my oil bill was $263 last month? For my little house!"
Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?
"I don't know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses."Sophie's cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping aside to reveal the empty box.
"Oh, good," Mrs. Mason interrupted. "You put the roses in water. Then you saw the card. I hope it didn't startle your to see Joseph's handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring you the roses the first year, so I could explain for him. He didn't want to alarm you. His 'Rose Trust,' I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph..."
But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling hands, she removed the card."To my sunshine," it said. "I love you with all my heart. Try to be happy when you think of me. Love, Joe."

My G1FT

My birthday present... Got it early... Lurv ya..

MARRY ME

The first time I asked her to marry me was when we were six years old.
"I'll be the husband," I said, "and you can be the wife.""No," she replied simply."Yes," I said."No," she replied again and walked off.After a few moments, I walked off too. It’s no fun playing house alone.

The second time I asked her to marry me, was when we were fourteen. We were partners in a dance for the annual school program and I was waiting for her to come out of the dressing room. I was dressed in a black suit and bowtie. As she stepped out of the dressing room in a pink dress that came down to her knees, I took a deep breath. She looked like an angel that had just stepped down from the heavens. As we waited for the teachers to give the signal for us to get on stage, I stared at her and tried to find my voice. She caught me looking and smiled as she asked, "What are you looking at?"... "Will you marry me?" I blurted out.Her smile turned into a grin, and a second later she burst out laughing. I didn't mind. I could see stars in her eyes. Still laughing, she took my hand and led me onto the stage.

The third time I asked her to marry me was on her sixteenth birthday. We were at a picnic with friends and the two of us were sitting by ourselves under a tree as the rest argued about which game to play next. She laughed at something someone was talking about in the distance. I heard the tinkling of bells in her voice. I plucked a daisy that was growing nearby and gave it to her as I said, "Will you be my wife?"She blushed as she looked at the flower, and then burst out laughing again. She took the flower and ran to join the rest of the group. I followed.

The fourth time, we were eighteen. We were sitting in the cafeteria in college as she sat sipping on a glass of orange juice and telling me how beautiful the last poem she read had been. After speaking continuously for a few minutes, she stopped and said, "What happened? Why aren't you saying anything?"I looked into her eyes and said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"As before, she burst out laughing again and said, "You're not old enough to get married yet." And then she started talking about another poem.

The fifth time I asked her to marry me was the day of our graduation. We were both twenty-one. I got down on one knee with a red rose in my hand and said to her, "Will you, now, take me to be your husband?"She grinned this time, and replied, "You're always in a hurry. You wanted to do your post-graduation, right?"I shrugged, got back on my feet, and walked with her to the convocation hall.

Four years later, I had finished my post-graduation and had a job in a multinational company. We were sitting in an ice cream shop when she brought it up. "You haven't asked me to marry you in four years," she said. "What happened? Did you change your mind?" She was smiling widely."What do you think?" I teased."I think you're afraid I’ll reject you again.""You haven't really rejected me even once, till now," I countered. "You never really said 'No'.""I did when we were six," she pointed out."She remembers", I thought to myself, as I smiled at the memory.I held out a spoon of ice cream for her to taste, and said, "Alright, so you rejected me once.""So?" she asked as she tasted my ice cream."So nothing," I replied.She rolled her eyes in silence. She was no longer smiling."Well?" I asked. "Do you think I've changed my mind?"
She frowned as she said, "I don't know." She looked beautiful even when she frowned.I watched her for a few seconds and said, "Why don't you ask me to marry you this time?""Me?" she replied, eyes wide in surprise."Why?" I asked. "What's wrong with that?"She blushed. "No," she said."Are you rejecting me again?" I asked."No, no!" she said quickly."So then you are saying 'Yes'?"She stuck her tongue out at me as she realized what I was trying to do, and went back to eating her ice cream."Hey," I said, as I took her hand in mine. "Marry me."She scrunched up her nose as she replied, "Are you sure?"I'd been sure since I was six. "Yes," I said simply.And she just smiled and nodded.

I read diz sumwhere.. Whoever wrote the story.. u fill my heart wit luv n joy... so I share it today n hope everybody feels the same way too.

Piss OFF

Musuk went to SHB yesterday.. Seminar.. Ntah la wat seminar.. One of my friend is in SHB too.. But she said TEDA PUN. So my head starts to spin.. Wat is he hiding from me.. I called my fren few times. Asking. Again and again and again. Nope. Nuttin.

I need to stay calm now.. Dont panic.. Cool. Take a deep breath..

So.. as usual.. everytime I feel like kicking sumbody's ass.. I clean up the house.. I clean up my sweet little room.. then take a walk at the park nearby. He did kol.. Juz now.. I juz pretend like I know nuttin. I'll wait.. Let's see wat explanation he got.. N